My eyes move behind shuttered lids, looking for something to rest their gaze on. Something other than this darkness. They are not yet attuned to it; this darkness, it is loose and slippery. Like a waste or insignificant organisms. The darkness is not as dark as it used to be: the darkness used to be darker, it held a meaning.
My ears are still strained to hear that faint telephone ring tone or catch the words of a soft spoken client. My ears are too big for this pillow. I want to keep them exposed to the ether, to keep them peeled. But I can’t, I have to sleep on my side or else I’d cough volcanoes unto the tranquility of slumberland.
I roll over and keep tumbling around, like I’m trapped in a moving barrel. But not a metal or a solid barrel, this one feels like it’s made of air guns or magnetic fields, soundlessly rolling. Like violent action scenes on a mute TV.
And right there, right before I lose consciousness, there’s that microsecond-long electric jolt. It’s over before it begins, and I briefly wonder what it means and that I should probably research it tomorrow….. (I never do).
Then I wake up.